Big Girls Don't Hide
by The Corrupted Mind of Emmaline
Summary: Slice of life oneshot featuring a feeling-oriented view of the cliche of female!Naruto in hiding as a boy. Ended up being fast-paced and focused on Sarutobi and Naruto's familial bond.


**Written awhile back, just decided to post it.  
**

 _Big Girls Don't Hide_

A thirteen-year-old ran a finger through short, blonde hair attentively. Blue eyes took in each side, watching her reflection move along with her. Her opposite hand moved down her cheek where three marks marred her skin on either side. Birthmarks that looked like whiskers though felt smooth as the rest of her cheek.

"Naruto?" Sarutobi asked, appearing in the doorway to her bathroom.

Far from surprised by the man's appearance, Naruto's hands ran one last time along her pointed hair. "Sarutobi," she began, a hand brushing along her side. Her waist curved in only slightly, and her hand stopped to pull at the fabric there. She bundled the fabric with her fingers, blue eyes looking at her accentuated breasts that hung freely beneath her top. "Do you think I'm pretty?" she continued, head tilting in the mirror. Her eyes moved to the reflection of the elder man in question.

Sarutobi sighed, scratching his chin. "Naruto..."

Blue eyes blinked at him, a glaze of water pooling in the corners of her eyes. "Do you think I'm pretty?" she repeated, tone forceful this time. Eyes squinted at her now-blurred reflection, the nails of her hand which held her tank top pressed into her side.

"You're one of a kind," Sarutobi began slowly.

"That's a 'no' isn't it?" she sighed, letting the fabric of her black tank top fall from her hand. "You know," she started after a moment's silence. "For a moment, I thought I could look like Ino." she admitted this softly, eyes lowering to the counter. A laugh, forced and sad came from her lips. "Can you believe that?" she asked. "Me, look like Ino?" her voice cracked, forced laughter loudening. A hand covered her mouth, eyes blinking repeatedly in a failed attempt to keep back tears. A single drop marked the beginning of their fall, sliding down her cheek and coming to a stop on her hand.

"What have I done to you?" Sarutobi asked solemnly, his voice lowered in a whisper. "Naruto," he said louder this time.

Naruto turned her head away from him, sobs consuming what was once her laughter. Sarutobi placed a hand on her shoulder, sighing softly when she flinched back from his touch. Her free hand pressed against the wall to steady her shaking body. Sobs hitched at that moment, face turning back to the Hokage.

Almost immediately after, a long sniffle came from her nose. Her hand raised from her mouth, which now took deep breaths in and out slowly. Every so often a sob overtook the breaths, a choking sound accompanying it. Eyes blinked harshly as her hand rubbing both sides of her face, freeing it from the streaks of tears down both sides.

"I-I'm being silly." she said, words hitching in the middle as a sob tried to push through. Red-tinged eyes glanced over to the Hokage. "Aren't I?"

"No," Sarutobi responded, meeting her eyes in kind. "It's me who's been silly.

"I never should have asked this of you. Of anyone." he continued, looking down to the floor. "Naruto, you've been a boy too long. I, of all people, should've known better than to put you through this. No one should have to pretend to be a gender they're not, least of all someone who's been through as much as you have."

Naruto rubbed her eyes, blurred gaze settling on Sarutobi's reflected ones. Then, she spoke quietly, "You protected me." she defended even as she sniffled once more. "Just like you always have."

"No," Sarutobi replied in a low voice, "I'm afraid I've done just the opposite."

 _Eight years ago..._

"Hey, old man!" Naruto shouted, bursting through the door to the Hokage's office.

Sarutobi looked up, already anticipating what Naruto had to say. He watched her with knowing eyes, waiting for her to continue. He sighed, smoke coming from his lips at the action.

Her hands were fists, posture straight and tall even for her small stature. Her white shirt hung off her small frame, a pair of shorts reaching her knees underneath. The hems of both swayed as she entered the room further, feet stomping against the ground.

Her eyes squinted in a glare, "Why?" she growled.

"You lack the aptitude-"

"You know damn well I don't." she interrupted.

Sarutobi turned to his window, gazing over the village with a weathered gaze. He felt every bit his age as he took on the girl with his own words of wisdom. "Then you lack the discipline."

Growling again, the girl held her place, her body an immovable rock. Her arms crossed over her chest, her head tilted higher to show defiance. "Then they'll teach me." she argued.

Smart for her age, just as she always had been, Sarutobi knew he'd entered a fight he could not win. "Being a ninja is hard work." he declared, holding a hand out to silence Naruto before she could fight him on this. "And the academy, though a dedicated school, won't be fair to you."

Naruto's frown deepened, "When has anything ever been fair?" she countered evenly.

He wondered how she'd grown so world-weary in such a short time, but felt the answer tugging at the back of his mind. He knew better than to question such things, they only served as reminders of the world's unkind ways. "It'll be harder to keep your gender hidden." He paused, taking the long pipe from his mouth. "And you won't receive the same classes as the rest of the kunoichi."

"I don't need them." she replied, arms uncrossing and figure relaxing from its tense state.

The Hokage exhaled heavily, "I'll allow it." he said finally.

Naruto's frown immediately subsided, leaving a wide grin in its wake. "Really?" she asked, balled fists rising in the air.

The Hokage turned back to her, watching her celebrate. His own lips turned at the corners, a weight disintegrating from his shoulders at the sight. "I can't allow you to go off alone, however."

Naruto paused in her jumping, looking to the older man with a confused expression. "Eh?"

"I mean, you need to train hard-harder than the rest of the students." he continued. When her expression didn't change, he explained. "You have to learn to hide yourself with your chakra before you grow into your body. I will have to teach you a henge as soon as possible."

Naruto gave him a frustrated look, even as a sparkle entered her eyes at the words. "I want you to train me," she began, "but I need to know why first. Why I can't just be a girl."

"You're still too young to hear something like that." Sarutobi stated shortly.

"You always say that," she replied.

"When you're older, I'll tell you everything," he promised.

Naruto, expression pressing between both anger and happiness, finally decided against further questioning. A part of her didn't want to press her luck, wanting to ensure her training with the Hokage. "Fine." she said stiffly before exiting the room entirely.

Sarutobi stared after her, placing his pipe back in his mouth. It was going to be a long day, he'd already known that when he'd objectified to Naruto's letter to get into the academy. However, with the addition of her need for training he felt his shoulders gain the weight previously lifted. He wished even one ninja knew Naruto's true gender as a girl, if only to help with her henge. It was going to be an awkward time, he knew, and he wasn't looking forward to it one bit even as he knew the necessity for her to remain to all others as Uzumaki Naruto, a boy for all intents and purposes. And not as Uzumaki Naru, container of the fox demon and girl.

He wondered if he was wrong for the ongoing deception, but as he followed Minato's instructions he knew he couldn't go against him. Even as Minato had wanted his daughter to be raised and known as a heroin, he also knew the possibility that Naru would grow to the opposite status. With an aged look he'd left rules for Naruto's growth, one standing out as the hidden gender.

Being a girl raised too many questions; mainly about the girl's future children should she have them. If the children would be a demon or house the demon was a question Sarutobi knew to be one laden in ignorance. But he couldn't allow these questions to be raised, not once. Because the moment they were, the moment Naruto's life would be in danger from scared; ignorant citizens. Even ninja who refused to look into such things before advocating against Naruto's existence.

More questions, darker ones, formed past the lighter reasons for her gender secrecy. One being the known but unsaid possibility of her being taken advantage of at a young age. Perverted adults with the need to take a young girl were known more throughout the village than ones who wanted to put a young boy through the same thing. And with the anger against Naruto by nearly the entire village, she needed that added protection.

Sarutobi definitely felt his age, maybe even older as he watched a small group of ANBU pause atop a building. The weight on his shoulders greatened, and they sagged beneath it. Smoke exhaled from the corners of his mouth, his head turning from the village he'd been sworn to protect.

Ten-year-old Naruto sat on the swing, straddling it and gazing at the symbol on the school. It was kanji for 'Fire' and she pressed her nose against the rope holding the swing to the tree branch as she looked closely at it. _Fire..._ The true meaning was simple, but symbolically it meant much more than just that.

A fire, a drive to defeat enemies, to conquer. But also to burn, to take down everything in its path. A yell caught her attention, head turning to see her classmates for the year playing with a ball. _Fire_ , it was in everyone's eyes that saw her staring their way. _Fire_ , ablaze with the need to burn her from the village. But her will stayed strong, tongue sticking out at the looks to show her defiance. Blue eyes took on a mischievous glint as a boy rolled his eyes at her.

Her tongue licked her lips before she pushed it back into her mouth. She sucked on her bottom lip momentarily, biting it in contemplation. One day, no one would roll their eyes at her. One day, when people looked at her, the fire would be gone from their eyes. But until then, they at least would take note of her. They'd know she was there. From the market to the school, everyone would know her name. And whether they used it to proclaim their hatred of her or to gossip about her, they'd at least know her. They'd know she existed, that she was _somebody._ Good or bad, she was there, and she wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

Watching in anticipation, Naruto went through an inventory of pranking materials she had at her apartment. Sasuke wasn't going to know what hit him.

And the next day, Sasuke found every faucet pouring out red-dyed water. Not that he knew what it was, given by his squeal as he ran through the house turning on each faucet. It wasn't easy to take off the faucet tops to place the dye, but Naruto knew she'd find it fruitful if anything.

Naruto didn't get to see this of course, but she did smile when she woke that day at the thought of how the Uchiha would react. Briefly, she wondered if he'd found out after he'd stepped into the shower, but knew that would just be too great.

She yawned, hands stretching against the sheets surrounding her. Having just hit puberty, she knew she had to get up soon to change her undergarment's protective padding. Even so, she found herself wanting to stay in the bed all day, lazing about in the sunlit room sleeping on and off. She counted this as just another part of her puberty, something she'd been warned about from the Hokage. Grimacing at the remembrance of _that_ awkward talk, she forced herself up with a groan to a sitting position.

 _Just another day..._

It was when Naruto turned eleven that the first sign of her body change began, she'd been almost surprised by the seemingly sudden appearance of the protrusions of her chest. Tiny but there, her boobs had begun their growth. She poked her right one, watching herself in the mirror. Besides an itching near the tips, she found they didn't feel any different. She'd always imagined them feeling sensitive and found she was infinitely wrong about that. With the amount of emphasis the others put on them, she wondered if having them meant she was suddenly a woman. She wondered if even through the binding and henge she'd have to begin, everyone would know just by looking her in the face.

But then the Hokage came to mind and she shook herself of such thoughts, her hand touching the bottom of her boob lightly to feel the light weight. She knew he would've warned her if that were true. Dropping her hands from her chest, she settled them instead on her hips. Her eyes, however, stayed on the protrusions with a small since of pride that found its way past her anxiety.

 _I'm a woman._ she assured herself firmly. _A woman._

"I hear there's a dance," Sarutobi stated. His tone carried a note of happiness within it, lips upturning with his words.

Naruto, now twelve years of age, tucked her hands further into her jacket. "Is that why you sent for me?" she asked. Her eyes stayed glued to the right, watching each shop front they passed. She walked stiffly, "For some stupid dance?" Unlike the man walking behind her, her tone carried no happy sentiments. Instead, her voice was monotonous and steady. With it, her expression stayed blank.

But Sarutobi knew better than to think she was disinterested. If anything, her refusal to meet his eyes showed just how much she cared about the dance. "Don't you want to go?" he urged, eyes watching her for any change of expression. The crowd parted as they walked, some bowing to him as he passed. Naruto ignored them like she always did, keeping watch of the store fronts.

Naruto huffed, hands digging into her pockets. "Why would I want to go to that stupid thing? We're ninja, not dancers. Besides, it's just a stupid excuse for Sakura and Ino to try for Sasuke again. I heard them," she continued. "They were telling Iruka-sensei about it. They've been on him for weeks, it's not anything important."

Sarutobi paused, looking to the large display to the right. Naruto, walking slowly passed it, kept her eyes directed towards it. She paused shortly after, head finally turning to him. "Why'd we stop?"

The Hokage looked to the display, tilting his hat slightly forward. Naruto eyed him with the same blank look even as her stomach flipped at his knowing look. "Naruto," he began slowly. He didn't get a chance to continue, however, as Naruto cut him off shortly.

"What?" she asked, eyes squinting into a glare at the man. Her frown strengthened, body stiffening as her head tilted up in her stance of defiance. She refused to look behind her, even as her heart wanted the opposite. It pounded against her ribs, making her tighten her hands into fists. "I don't want it." she stated before he had a chance to respond. "I don't want it!" she repeated, louder this time. Seeing his expression remain, a solemn look she'd encountered several times through the years. It was the one he used when he was about to remind her of her gender. The one she paraded around being despite arguing against it.

He shook his head, eyes returning to the product. Naruto turned away, eyeing the display one last time before she sprinted forward suddenly, head ducking. Sarutobi, as if knowing this would happen, didn't turn to see her leave. He instead turned back from the way he came, walking slowly to his office. His mind focused on the stand, wondering not for the first time if what he was doing to Naruto was just.

Behind him, the display was large and colorful, the floor covered in various flowers piled atop each other. The background held different colored lace, ranging from large; white print to a frilly red piece. They hung against a white backdrop, moving softly with the wind. Beyond the fabric, four separate stands held four separate kimonos that were just as colorful and elegant as the beauty surrounding them. On the end was a gentle orange color, not as harsh as the coat Naruto wore daily. But it was not so soft as to look white in the dark.

Both arms were lifted to show a few white flowers decorating both sides sporadically. The top was a plain orange, while the middle wrap was white below it. A pink strand of light fabric tied it closed. From the bottom, white and light pink flowers decorated the kimono in a line diagonally leading up the outfit. A shade of faded purple was the background for the flowers, and though it was untraditional coloring, it matched the feminine kimono perfectly. The purple faded to a soft yellow, which covered the rest of the kimono's bottom. Speckled on it were a few more white flowers of different sizes, but they too faded away before the hemline was reached.

In less words, it was beautiful, delicate as it was feminine and youthful. It had caught Naruto's attention, but little did the Hokage know, it wasn't the first time she'd stood there watching it. It was just the first time he'd noticed.

The day the Hokage died changed everything. Sarutobi had promised change after Naruto's breakdown, but he never got the chance to implement it when the village was attacked.

Naruto had never felt so alone before in her life. The loss of her only family-because that's what Sarutobi was after all those years they spent together. Through all their fights and troubles, Sarutobi and Naruto were truly like grandfather and granddaughter. For each fight, a happy memory to rest beside it, and it was with the mixed mess of memories that found Naruto in the old man's office. Each step forward into the room felt unreal, dream-like and suddenly all Naruto could hear was the pounding of her feet in an empty room. Never so loud had she sounded, from feet on wood to soft breaths that hitched as her eyes swept over the room in which most of their memories together had begun.

The desk, large and instantly seen to anyone else, was overlooked by her wide eyes as they searched the room for a presence no longer inhabiting it. And the feeling of loneliness, one she'd carried with her for years, had never been so overpowering. And soon, she fell. The emotions pushing at her barrier of impassiveness, a brash cave-in crushing what little rocky defense in which she had shielded herself.

Knees knocked harshly against the ground, a loud sound accompanying the movement as weight collided with smooth hardness. No wince or flinch was echoed on her face however, as even with the painful fall, Naruto felt nothing but numb. It overrode her senses completely, leaving only raw emotion unsilenced with the trauma of her loss.

Naruto had no idea how long it had been since she'd fallen, but even as minutes ticked past she found herself unable to move from the space she'd accidentally occupied. And all was silent, until, finally, blue eyes turned to the desk and windows behind it slowly.

Then, a sob. Then, another, this one resonating in the space. Another, gut-wrenching, soul-twisting sound pushed from her lips and to the surrounding walls while tears burned her eyes. They pooled to the bottom of her eyes only to fall without so much as a blink to move them. So overwhelmed with emotion, Naruto released high wails before curling in on herself on the floor easily. Shakes rattled her body and nerves caused her to twitch randomly as the strain of raw feeling was unleashed.

And as if attempting to shield itself, Naruto's body shut down completely. Sleep with no dreams met her when heavy eyes closed and twitches came to an end.

Not even a week later they were cleaning the office for the next Hokage, and as much as Naruto despised this, she found she had no power to stop it. However, that didn't stop her from trying. Just watching the people carelessly moving the items out hurt her deep in the chest. A giant needle jabbed through her insides as she watched each scroll leave in bundles. Holding her tongue only worked for so long before Sarutobi's assistant broke her resolve when moving a box out from a desk drawer. The woman made to open it only to find a hand pressing on the top to stop her.

Her eyes moved upward, body stopping its task easily as it noticed the dull blue eyes and pained expression he showed her.

"Naruto," she sighed out almost sadly.

But one look had her leaving the box on the desk top, another showing her just why she'd been stopped. Written in small but neat handwriting on the box's corner was, "Naruto." So, with a silent nod and easily broken resolve, she moved away and allowed the ninja to take it away. But Naruto didn't make to move the object, glazed eyes staring at Sarutobi's unmistakable handwriting without movement.

The assistant, not knowing what to say, instead of focusing on Naruto, chose to focus on the other small trinkets needing to be moved. And Naruto, unwatched by all-them too used to ignoring the child, simply stayed standing next to the desk. Her eyes focused on the box and only just, glazed eyes getting glassier by the second. Yet, unblinkingly, she stayed in her position.

It wasn't until later, after the last man exited the now overly-empty room that Naruto finally collapsed next to the desk on the floor. Hands immediately reached her eyes, covering them as tears tried to force their way past her guard. And the world outside, it moved just like always. People went to bed, children tried to run about passed curfew and off-duty guardsmen drank heartily. They laughed, some played games, others went to sleep with only the smallest niggling about the future and what it entailed without the Hokage once known and loved through their village as well as the land surrounding.

And forgotten was once more the "rambunctious, no-good, Naruto." No second thoughts in anyone's mind without Sarutobi. No family, no friends. Even her teammates hated her, even with her tries to gain friendship status with both. But they were what was left.

And sadly, slowly, and with whirling confusion, Naruto gathered what was left of her courage to lean up and grab the box with a hand. Though slim, the package made up for it in length. Awkwardly, it half-fell and was half-placed onto her crossed legs. Wiping her eyes with her hands at the familiarity of the handwriting once more, her face turned into an expression she so often projected at the world.

And with it, a long breath was drawn in, chest pushing out with its fill. And slowly, carefully; lovingly even, Naruto's hands palmed the sides before lifting the lid off completely. Eyes, as if expecting the worse, closed before they could make out what lay in the box's dark insides. After a long pause, Naruto allowed herself to peek.

Then, a smile.

Shaking fingers placed themselves as softly as they could while still holding a weight onto the fabric they found.

A light; delicate fabric met them. Smooth and silky, her fingertips grazed over it. And slowly, ever so slowly, numb lips widened the smile, dull eyes now bright once more.

It was a kimono. No, The Kimono. Her Kimono.

And the next day, she wore it, with the happiest smile the village had ever seen placed on her face. Left with the death of her guardian was their closely guarded secret. Gone was Naruto's time in her rightful place, and in his place was finally; _rightfully_ time for Naru.


End file.
